Sunday, November 11, 2007

Letting go

This past week, I went to the doctor for a sinus infection. I needed some medicine. I chose to take my SHAPE book with me. It is about finding and fulfilling your unique purpose for life. It is a follow up to the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. If you haven't read that one, you should. Anyway, I had read halfway through the SHAPE book, then decided to finish another book before moving on into the deep part. I read through the first chapter of the second half call "Letting Go". It was quite moving and realized that I could not just read this part of the book, I had to do the writing part too, in order to get the most out of it. While waiting for the doctor in the back, I started the chapter over and worked through it. It was quite thought provoking. I thought through a whole bunch of things that I needed to think through. I would like to take this opportunity to follow through with what I wrote in a prayer to God to help me Let Go.

Dear God,

Today I'm fully surrendering my life to you. I realize that I have been holding things back from you, for which I am sorry. Please take from me all of the things I have listed below and give me the rest that your Word promises. In addition, give me the strength and wisdom to live surrendered everyday of my life.
God I surrender the following to you today....

My Worries -
-My whole family including myself
-Health issues in my whole family including myself

My Wounds
-Never feeling good enough for my dad, always feeling like I had to prove

myself, actually, to everyone, not just dad.
-Marie's bad choices and how they have affected everyone.

My Wrongs
-To Miranda- I don't give her the same leeway that I give to Jessica. I think I do it because I am trying to make her a better person, but I don't know if that is totally true or not. I know it is partly, but I don't know that I don't take out some of my resentment from Marie on her. That obviously is a wrong to Miranda.
-I yell at people when I am angry. I should memorize James 1:19-20.
-I hold resentment in my heart towards Marie for her bad choices.
-I hold resentment in my heart towards Melysa for being not being grateful for the things that she has been given.

My Weaknesses
-Organizational skills in my home
-Patience in everything
-My fear of failure or letting people down
-Stepping out of my comfort zone to talk to new people

My Wishes
I wish that I would be a better mom to my girls.
I wish I had more patience.
I wish that I could make the difference in the lives of abused and neglected children.
I wish that when I die people will remember me as a loving mom, wife and child of God who made a difference in their lives.

Lord, today I have realized that in order to be fully yours, I need to surrender everything to you. Not just part of it, but all of it. You tell me that I can trust you with it all and you will take care of me and I will hold your Word close to me and believe that. Lord, today, I thank you for taking these burdens from me. Lord, when I am tempted to take them back, please remind me swiftly and lovingly that you have them for me. I thank you for all the blessings that you have given me and continue to give me. I thank you that you gave your son for me so I could be reunited with you in heaven on your golden streets.
Thank you Lord for all you are, all you have done and all you will do,


1 comment:

Heidi said...

Wendy, that was beautiful. Thank you so much for giving me a glimpse into your journey with God. You are an encouragement to me!

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