Thursday, September 27, 2007

Free isn't so free

I took all my girls to school today. 4 hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I am free of children. Peace. No one screaming in my ear that someone hit her or spit at her or isn't being fair or won't stay out of my room! Whew. I look forward to it, I earned it. I was walking through Walmart today, alone. It was a different experience. Have you ever done it? You should try it if you haven't. I was walking calming, looking at everything. If I wanted to stop and look at something I did. I was on my way to the checkout line and realized I forgot something on the other side of the store. Of course, it happens all the time. Now my first instinct was to go ahead and checkout, because I was almost done and the checkouts were right there, there was one open and I can just put the item back on the list for next time I go to the store. I stopped in my tracks. I did not have any kids and I did not have to rush home for any reason. Well then, that is a new feeling! Guess what I did, walked to the other side of the store, found my item, gently placed it in my cart and walked back to the other side of the store to again, ready myself for check out. Smiling all the way while I looky loo'd. I slowly did the self check out and put everything exactly where I wanted it. I got my receipt and proceeded toward the door. I then realized that I could carry the 4 bags in my hands and did not have to take the cart out today. I gave the cart to the greeter at the door, she smiled and said, "Thank you, have a great day!" I smiled back and said, "Thank you! You too!" Then I casually went on my way out the door.

On my way out to the van it hit me. In 2 years, at this time, all my girls will be in school. All day, every day school. Wow. What the heck will I do all day, everyday? Miss my girls, I will miss them. Catie right now is 8 and she already doesn't want to kiss me goodbye anymore. She blows me kisses and occasionally she will play catch up and give me hugs and kisses for all the days she didn't actually do it. What will it be like when all 3 of them are "too big" to do it? What will it be like when we are not the most important people anymore. It seems like for all the times I say, "Whew, some freedom and quiet time", there will be so many more when I say, "Whew, I sure miss my little girls screaming in my ear that someone hit her or spit at her or isn't being fair or won't stay out of my room!" God bless them and thank you Lord for showing me that today, just at the right time.

1 comment:

Heidi said...

I know that feeling! I will be so excited when Chris and I get to go out and have some time with just us...but I spend a lot of the time missing the kids and wondering about them!! I guess that's the way it works with everyone! They sure are HUGE blessings!

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