This is the word that He wanted me to share on Sunday - I hope it touches you too.
I could not sleep last night. Have you ever had those nights? I was watching Discovering the Jewish Jesus. God started nudging me when I heard two things I had spoken with Darlene about on Friday were repeated just as I left the bathroom to get into bed. Insecurities and fear holding me back from being close to God and me not taking enough time to be still and know that He is God. So, I need to give you a little background on this before I go into what I believe I am supposed to share. It is rather graphic so I will not get too detailed.
I am a dreamer. I have been since I was little girl. I don’t just dream black and white. I am a full color motion picture dreamer. Details and everything. I feel like this is the way God uses to get to me because I am so preoccupied that I don’t hear him during the day. I have known that this was an issue and try to work on it, but I always make excuses.
I am not proud of that.
This past week or so, I have had 3 dreams in particular. The first two, I fought with evil dark figure, which I can only assume was Satan. I was scared and the only thing I could do was to call on the power and light of God to save me because I was his child and He did. I was carried away to safety. When I awoke, I was refreshed and satisfied that I was able to stand on God promises and he would take care of me, in spite of me not being as obedient as I should be. On Thursday night however, I was not so lucky. I was in the middle of an office type place and was looking at some young girls and was thinking how someone should tell them about God’s love for them and give them hope. The door to the office opened and in walked the dark stranger with a gun. Without anymore details than that, it was the worst nightmare of my life. I was shot and killed. I woke up gasping for breath as the final bullet entered my head. It was awful. I couldn’t help but start doubting my safety in God. I was not reading my bible or doing all the things I could or should be doing and maybe this was God’s way of telling me that. I love to write, so I wrote the dream down thinking that maybe if I got it out it would be okay. It didn’t help. It actually made it worse. I was trying to think of who I could call to talk to who wouldn’t think I was crazy! Not one minute after I was done writing though, my phone rang. It was Darlene and her first question was, “how ya doin today?” I told her terrible and start to cry uncontrollably. Bless her heart, she jumped in the car and came right over. When she got here, I told her that God must have told her to call me and told her what happened. After a long talk, I came to the realization that that dream was not from God at all. It was Satan taking advantage of me at my weakest moment. He took all my chaos in my head and used it all against me and killed me, just like he wanted to.
I felt led to tell you all this. I think that God wants to remind us that Satan is here to lie, cheat, steal and destroy our lives. He will use any weakness that we allow him to have. He will even wait to catch us off guard when we are not thinking about it. I was on the top of the world in my dreams. Every time I fought him, it was head on and I knew he was coming. This last one, I didn’t. He walked right in and looked right at me before I even knew it was happening. I didn’t even get a chance to ask God for help.
I don’t know if anyone needed to hear this today, but I have one more thing. Tonight after I heard 2 of the very things Darlene and I talked about yesterday, I still could not go to sleep. I laid there wide awake with a pressing feeling to get up and go the living room and pray on my knees. I finally did. When I did, I didn’t know what to say, so I said, God if you are there, please show me. I felt a sensation all over my body and heard in my head clear as a bell, “Read my word”. I have been reading a chronological daily bible. (when I read it.) and that is the one that I saw in my head. After sitting there for a moment in shock and trying to figure out if it was really happening, I got up and got the bible. When I opened up to the next daily read, this is what I read.
Why Righteous Die - Isaiah 57.1-2
The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart, devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace, they find rest as they lie in death.
I have a New Century Version also I would like to share –
Those who are right with God may die, but no one pays attention. Good people are taken away, but no one understands. Those who do right are being taken away from evil and are given peace. Those who live as God wants find rest in death.
After I read those two, I knew that I was supposed to share and it has given me a feeling of peace to know that I am headed in the right direction.